I am writing an informative speech on homelessness...?

Here is my introduction. I am trying to have an emotional connection with the audience. I want their hearts to go out to me as I read this.





';I am your average 18 year-old girl who has a roof over her head, a great family, awesome friends, food, clothes, and many more things to be thankful for. Now raise your hand if you think this is pretty normal. Alright, let鈥檚 change it up now. Hypothetically, let鈥檚 just say I lost my job. For no apparent reason. I was able to sell my car, which helped me survive a couple months in my apartment. I started walking everywhere I went. Then I went crazy all of a sudden. That eventually caused my landlord not able to stand my constant screaming and wailing at the top of my lungs, crying out for whatever I had left. Lost the apartment. Scoured for jobs. No one would take me. I then became severely depressed. Tired. Sick. I had absolutely no where to go. My parents wouldn鈥檛 take me back in. I had lost all communication with those I used to call my friends. My soul now lies here on the street, crying out to anyone who could hear me. People ignored my hand-written signs for help. Just walked right passed me. I became invisible. A ghost. I worked so hard to get where I was at. Then poof. Done. My life had disintegrated as quickly as you put flame to a paper. I felt alone. Scared. Knowing that for every second I lived, it became that miracle second that I was just happy to be alive, even though I was suffering. I felt as though I had nothing else to live for. Now how many of you think this is normal? How many of you want to reach out to me?';





No, of course it's not true. But please tell me what you think. And I'm wondering if I need to revise the last question? Again, I want them to want to reach out to the homeless version of me. What do you guys think?I am writing an informative speech on homelessness...?
It's good, except for two things...





Don't say ';awesome,'; in it, say something like, ';fantastic/wonderful';





...also, don't say screaming and wailing and ';going crazy suddenly,'; maybe just say, the money from the car ran out and you were evicted? That way, the story doesn't change and it's more believable.I am writing an informative speech on homelessness...?
Honestly... I'm going to get you on this.


Although your speech was touching and affected my heart, it was not accurate. In today's world, being homeless is a ';normal'; thing. Think about it, we, the US, are the wealthiest and a nation of plenty... YET, we have the most homeless people and do nothing for them. It's not strange to walk down the street and see people begging for money. We see this each day of our life and it appears to be perfectly fine. Also, you may not know it... but I guarantee you that a good percentage of the kids who go to school with you have no place to lay their head. They may not seem that way, but it's true. To me, it's more weird to have a family that consists of a mother and a father than just one parent. The fact that you have a great family, good friends, food on the table, a place to lay your head, and clothes on your back... is not luck. It's an honor, a priviledge. Many of us are not fortunate. And if one were to become without a home, the streets become your home... and you should make the very best of it. The fact that you are still alive to see the next day is what matters... not because you have material posessions.