What do you think of this small piece of writing of mine?

Its just a bit out of a short story I'm writing.





What do you think of it?


Rate my writing skills out of 1-10, please?





I am only a 13 year old girl so be nice!








“Luke?” I said in a faint voice that quivered, “Luke?” I called again, hoping to have more power this time.


My voice echoed in the dark empty halls. I sighed and cursed under my breath at my rotten luck. My feet paced forwards, and my hands stretched out into the darkness before me. I squinted my eyes in the hope of being able to see better, however it didn’t work quite well. I breathed heavily through my nose and smelt the musty scent of old books and dust. The air was thin and stale, I coughed upon breathing it in.


I took another step forwards and my left hand brushed against something cold. I moved forwards more, and ran my fingers along the object, it was a wall. A concrete wall, it was roughly made and as I took my hand off the wall I felt the layers of dust now lined on my fingers.


I placed my left hand on the wall again and stumbled on; I knew that the easiest way to get out of a maze was to trail your left arm against the wall. But the problem was, I didn’t know how big this place was. I didn’t know where I was. My throat was aching of thirst and my eyes had something in them, dirt or some more dust. I licked my dry cracked lips and flinched, I tasted something foul on the bottom right of my lip. Blood. The blood was dry, but it was still blood and I didn’t know, along with many other things, why it was there. I felt my lip cautiously and found I had a deep gash running just above my jaw line, it was strange that I had not felt it before, but now that I had noticed it I felt it. It throbbed with every heartbeat, every time blood pulsed behind the skin trying to heal my wound.


I hurried my pace now, a quick jog along the wall.


“Luke! Where are you?” I shouted.


Very abruptly I fell sideways onto the hard ground. I had my arm out, stopping me from falling and hurting myself more than just a few grazes and scratches on my knees. I looked back; it seemed my wall had ended.


However as I picked myself up and dusted off I could see, very faintly in the distance, a flickering light.


It was a cold white that glowed in a deathly manner. No matter how sinister it looked though, it was light.


I crawled at first towards it before standing up and walking again. My hand stretched out again as I neared the light. After a while of walking it was right in front of me, it was almost blinding. My hand reached around and I grasped the light and suddenly it was gone, only to appear another 100 metres in front of me. I narrowed my eyes and carried on, noticed another cut on my right should, running from my shoulder to my elbow. I held it firmly in my left hand and walked steadily forwards. But this time the light didn’t come close, it moved as I did. It matched my pace precisely. I was going nowhere.What do you think of this small piece of writing of mine?
You certainly have talent,I would like to see where you end up,(in the story).





8, but with practice, you will no doubt reach the 10.





Keep going,What do you think of this small piece of writing of mine?
Pretty good for a 13 year old! I'm 17 and I think my writing sucks. And yours doesn't. Keep on writing.