Saturday, August 21, 2010

What do you think about what I wrote?

I know its kinda long but pleas read and tell me ur opinion!


oh and what are some things I could improve?








You asked








You asked me what I think “Life” is. I once read that life is a combination of hate, passion and love. But how does it look? How is it? Where do we keep it?


I thought about that a lot in the end I realized that life is a gray ghost alike soul in a glass made bottle that god gave us to hold with both of your little hands. God gave you your own bottle and the possibility to make with it whatever you want to, you can hold it tight take care of it and life your life the way you want it, you can also play with it pass it from one hand to the other and be just happy with the way your life is.


However, you asked me to talk about you to tell your story since your not here to tell it at your own. Where should I start? I would ask you if you would be here but your not….Why? Just listen why… because you were an impatient person you kept playing with your bottle passing it from one hand to the other and then the thing you feared happened you “accidently” dropped your bottle, it “accidently” slipped through your careless fingers and fell, it fell in a slow way for me every second passed for me slowly but too quickly for you, you had no time to react to reach out for it, like you would even have a chance! and then your little glassy bottle hit earth and broke into uncountable pieces you can’t repair, there was nothing left to keep your soul safe, you reached your hands out trying to catch it to hold it back but you couldn’t even reach it, it flew away from the place it left your no respectful body can reach it and made its way up. In a couple of time it will reach the top of the sky and then chose heaven or hell. But until then your body was left empty behind on earth lying on the cold dirty street with no warm soul inside. You wonder how you got into this situation, you ask me what happened. Should I blame you? Tell you about all the bad things you did? How you acted in a no respectful way towards your life your soul and towards others?


I look down at your face covered with shame I see a single tear making its way down your face, I hear you whispering some random words about that your sorry, then you tell me that you finally understood that you were wrong that the most precious gift god gave us is love and life that you lost both, you tell me that you regret all the bad things you did, you cry you scream you beg me to give you a second chance to give you a second bottle. Should I say that I don’t believe you? That everyone says the same when death is so close? That they all regret in the last moment when it won’t lead them to anywhere…I tell you that I cant that everything will be over soon, in my mind I add that you don’t deserve this second chance.


I reach my hands out on both of my sides it’s a cold night tonight you’re lying at my feet still crying and begging and I’m feeling uncomfortable about being here I want to go back I wish that it will be over soon. The rain starts, the horrible rain for you that will never let you forget me and this moment. I raise my head towards the black sky and close my eyes, I don’t need to see you to know what’s happening with you, I don’t need to hear your screams to know the pain your in. But this is the end you had chose, it’s the moment I went through a lot of times every time with a different person but all had something in common: all of them made something wrong. In my mind I can see the hard heavy rain drops reaching your empty body crushing on your face cutting it, melting it, soon nothing will be left of you not a single bone everything will melt with the rain. The hour of death has come for you I hear the bells ring the sign that its over that your soul reached the place it belongs to now, I open my eyes and look at what is supposed to be the leftovers of your dead body at the black and yellow sand at my feet, I lean down and put them in the hourglass I had in my pocket an hourglass to give another life to another soul. I look around and then make my way to my next victim hoping that he will be calmer cause me less headache and make me feel less guilty.








P.S: I kept the promise I gave you, I told your story but I can’t promise you the future. I may be immortal but others not, people may forget your story but others may remember it and pass it over.





Good luck to everyone with death when it reaches you. Make the best of your life as long as you can, don’t think about the bad things think about the little things that make your day great and make you smile!





What do you think about what I wrote?
That's really really good. And deep. I don't think you should change anything. It has a lot of meaning and you should keep it the way it is.What do you think about what I wrote?
Great!!! but there are some run-on sentences and fragments.






U wrote a quite big story.It took a lot of time 2 me 2 understand but when I


under stood the fact I really liked it.Wish u all the best and keep up the good work
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