Poem from the heart what do you think?

Just when you thought you had won


Life has come and you are no longer sprung


Deep inside you know what to say


But you stay silent with the coming of another day


Darkness has taken over your mind


To everything your eyes are almost blind


These feeling your having aren鈥檛 that one of a kind


It鈥檚 like back in the day when souls were lost to the sands of time


Nothing you can do its like your hands are tied


Hopeless to control just like the first time you cried


When your eyes started to leak as if to become a waterfall


Raining upon anyone that might want to call


You鈥檙e fighting so hard to steal the pen from disteny's hand


Its like you鈥檙e refusing to understand


Life is all ready written your just living out a play


The soundtrack is the in making with the words you say


Yet you try to change your future into loneliness


Avoiding the adventure of life filling your heart with emptiness


Afraid that love might show her face and set your heart beats into a race


Then once again in the end your realize it wasn鈥檛 worth the chase


And your heart has shattered into the moons of outer space


Then back to the being of the entire play


When you forgot the words you were post to say


It鈥檚 was post to be another life has past with the coming of another day





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I was the one that promised not to leave your side


So tell me now why I'm the one who is left behind


I thought you said you loved me to


Was it all lies was not even a little bet true


You could have given just a little hint that you were going to leave


Then maybe it would have been easier to believe


Cause now I'm with a heart that鈥檚 in denial


And stock with eyes that are chasing your smile


Hoping on every train riding in every car


Going and going not knowing just how far


It would have to travel to get away from all this rain


That鈥檚 drowning the heart and causing the mind pain


Please come show me your beauty that lies in your eyes


If not that just give me the reason for your lies


Help me ease the thoughts of an abandoned heart


That鈥檚 slowly starting to fall apart


I don鈥檛 know what else to do


I thought you were coming back when you said you had to go


Everything happened so suddenly; I wasn鈥檛 expecting to be so lonely


Never thought I would be a companied by memories


Now I鈥檓 still in the same place as before


On my knees trying to get off the floor


Screaming at this heartless doorPoem from the heart what do you think?
i say its an 8. very good poem but it was a little unclear what was going on in the first half. i like how you separated it. and the rhyming with lies in the middle of the second stanza was a little awkward





could you read mine?


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