So poem what do you think? Really, comments mean a lot!?

lol this is horrible. and I'm not just saying that. it really, truly is. I'm going to delete this question soon. I just want to know what people think. I wrote this with my eyes closed when I first woke up. It's horrible how cliche and immature I sound in this lol but so what right? it's just fast writing. so here we go.











and I don't even know what it is about you that still drives me crazy


the line between reality and fiction


is blurred beyond distinction


we're trying to hold it together


but we're sinking in this boat they made for us to drown in





your eyes they say so much


but I'm deaf and blind


can't hear you, can't see you


just lost in the seams


of the disguises we sport





dreams plagued by your monster


no thought left untouched


I can't control it anymore


I'm frightened and forgotten


how will I ever know what to do?





you're sitting there


standing there


waiting for me


so blatant it's funny but I can't see a thing


I don't know how to act


I don't know what to say


I can't think when you're around


can only hear your every sound





I don't remember until much later


and it's really getting old


two years and I'm still a slave


to this drive beyond the fold





time is wearing me thin


and memories driving me down


this game we're playing


this hole we're making


is fooling no one but ourselves





your heart beats fast


my thoughts they race


sense is forbidden


to you, to me, to the starts in between


to everything in reach





hmm yeah so this was pretty random. I just closed my eyes and didn't think of what I was writing. and oddly enough this came out. yes it's horrible, and angsty, and terribly stupid but it was fast writing so I'll keep it for a while I guess. anyways I should do this more often. it's terribly fun to read afterwords. it's interesting to see what comes out when you're not thinking and have no idea what your hands and mind are doing without your consent. and maybe this will help me to express myself more freely. maybe it'll help me to become more eloquent and with time I think it could help me develop my writing to the point that I want it to be at. so that's that I guess.


sorry for wasting like 2 minutes of your life


(no joke I really am)


but I hope it gave you a laugh and some confidence in your own writing by knowing it's better than this hah (seriously)So poem what do you think? Really, comments mean a lot!?
Sometimes, those ';let it flow'; poems are better than sitting down and laboring over it.





This one works