I would like it if you could tell me how good this story is! Can you rate it on a scale from 1-10?

Militaristics





Book One





Lynette































































































By: Gillian Annie





Garman-Davis-





Diamond





Table Of Contents





Prologue II





Chapter One The Reasonings 1





Chapter Two Jobs 3





Chapter Three Working 8





































































































I





Prologue











The tip-toes of boots on grass sounded clearly in the neighborhood, but since no one was listening, they would never notice. The sneaker, whoever they were, was trying to hide, hide from the follower. The sound got quicker, obviously meaning the sneaker was quickening their pace. No sound of breath came from the sneaker, but roars came from the follower, and thumps sounded through, loudly. The sneaker wasn’t fast enough, but they were quiet enough. They stood, barely breathing, beside a house. The follower stomped on ahead, roaring in frustration as it lost its prey.





“Better luck catching ‘er next time, eh?” It roared to itself. The sneaker didn’t try to run; she knew the follower’s ways. It would try to find her, but it would only blunder through the darkness, unable to find its prey and afraid to return to its dark master. The sneaker was having trouble breathing; the air seemed to be trapped inside her, it wanted to run to the nearest plants. The sneaker kept quiet, waiting, listening. The follower tramped on by her, its nose close to the soft earth, sniffing. It paused, right in front of the sneaker, but then moved on, until it was heard no more. The sneaker let out a breath, then returned to the follower’s game of predator and prey. Not another sound was heard throughout the neighborhood besides the sighs of the slumbering people in the houses. Nothing moved, no light but the stars and moon, and no whispers of “goodnights” or “I love you’s.”



























































II





Chapter One The Reasonings





























Life was hard for the little Lynette, who experienced many tragedies that young ones should never even hear of, like her eye being punctured, or losing the ability to feel with her knees.





When Lynette was a wee child, not even past breast feeding, her mother experimented hair dye on her daughter, and the hair dye she used was meant to turn your hair pink. When she tried it, the young girl’s hair was dyed at the roots that were hard to remove, since younglings’ have soft heads. The poor child was teased and taunted for the color of her hair. She loved it when she was young, but as she grew older, she lost things that teenagers shouldn’t have lost.





Lynette was only a small girl when it happened.





On her seventh birthday, on the exact hour she was born, Lynette fell. Not only did she fall, she fell with the knife she always used to cut the birthday cake, since she was four, anyways. As she fell, she tried to break her fall with her tiny hand that held the birthday cake cutting knife, which was her right, writing, hand, which I’m sure we would all do. She wasn’t fast enough, so when she fell, her head when towards the grass, near her hand. She tried to drop the knife and catch her fall, but, alas, no, her reflexes weren’t fully developed yet, so her hand moved right under her left eye, in hopes to be able to roll over and not hurt herself at all. But, her head kept falling and went right into her left eye. You can imagine, I’m sure, the shock upon the mother’s face when little Lynette looked up, her left eye bleeding. There was a small clinic nearby, but they were too late. Lynette had her eye taken out, and she wore a little navy blue-y purple eye patch to hide the hole of her eye.





Another one I might tell you is the telling of her sour and foul mood. As she slowly progressed through teenage life, Lynette had to deal with many people calling her a sissy for the accident her mother did when she was young. When she realized that her hair should’ve been dark black, she was

















1





glad that her mother had even made the tiny mistake.





After years of running, hiding, and dodging bullies and crazy elders, Lynette lost the nerves in her knees. She could walk right, but she couldn’t feel with them. She knew she couldn’t ever be able to fall and feel the explosion of hurt there; she missed it, even, in future years.





And lastly, I must tell you that Lynette was beyond words. She had the brains of five school teachers, and she wore clothes that suited her. She was, to the best of my description, beautiful. She could walk in style, talk with out stuttering, and best of all, she could dress like a military leader. Now, I can go too far on this, but I won’t. She wore a tight navy blue-y purple jacket that buttoned underneath her chest, and it was fleeced along the edges, and she had aI would like it if you could tell me how good this story is! Can you rate it on a scale from 1-10?
It's pretty good, I would give it a 7.5-8. The prologue confused me, but that might just be me.





While posting it online, you should make the spaces smaller.I would like it if you could tell me how good this story is! Can you rate it on a scale from 1-10?
I don't like it, sorry!


It looks like you've tried hard.


BUT


2 paragraph chapters = about half an A5 page!


I don't really understand the storyline, it's hard to get into.I would restart and change it a lot =)
boring and crap 0
You asked for my opinon so imma give it to you, Sorry!!!





I kinda liked it, but kinda didn't. See me, when i hear about something happening to somebody else, i feel it too. I don't know why. So all the places where you was talkin about her fallin and her eye, i started to get sick to the insides of my stomach.





But that's just me. I give it a 4.
Ummn it confuses me... and its boring..... its okay I guess, i'll give it a 4.7